Ever since I started watching more zombie films and TV shows I have become more than a little paranoid in every day life (see here for my recent article on the many things zombies can teach us). Do so has resulted in an all-pervading mental state which leads me to believe the ensuing zombie apocalypse has either begun or is about to begin. In other words, the belief that zombies are now among us causes a person to view everyday life a little differently. Here now are some "obvious conclusions" made while observing my world in a state of zombie-induced paranoia:
Obvious Conclusion #1: A man stumbles along slowly in the blurry distance up ahead of me on the side of the road. Conclusion: he's obviously a zombie.
Obvious Conclusion #2: My toddler has begun continually making these low guttural grunts while playing. Conclusion: he's turned into a zombie.
Obvious Conclusion #3: While standing outside playing at home with my kids a helicopter flies overhead. Conclusion: Whatever is left of the government is sending out military scouts to survey the land now infested by surging zombie hordes.
Obvious Conclusion #4: Driving along the highway I see the gutted mangled corpse of a deer just off to the side of the road. Conclusion: a group of zombies have just completed another feast.
Obvious Conclusion #5: I am taking a hike on a beautiful wooded trail. Conclusion: a herd of zombies could overtake me attack at any moment. I must get behind a thicket of trees and hide
Obvious Conclusion #6: I am a dinner guest at a friends house I've never been to before. Conclusion: I must immediately begin searching for all effective weapons to ensure our defense against a potential zombie ambush.
Obvious Conclusion #7: I walk into an entirely new house or building. Conclusion: I must locate any and all areas which make us vulnerable to a zombie attack, fortifying and securing them all. I cannot rest or be at ease until this most basic of tasks is completed.
Here's to hoping I can calm down a bit and just enjoy the beauty of life, but as long as The Walking Dead keeps going I don't see that happening any time soon!
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